8.10.14

Immersion in Life

Summer came and went! Fall arrived, and here we are.
The seasons wait for no one. I'll put on some Patty Page and sip my coffee and chat with you a bit. I've been immersed in life as of late. There's not a moment to lose, I must keep up! 

Things seems to have picked up quite a bit for our home. As you may know, I homeschool my kiddo's. However, I recently have felt overwhelmed by how some of our story has been unfolding. I am pulled in every direction by several of the kids therapies and appointments and often times feel like I don't have a moment to breath. I sit here writing, letting my children sleep in (I know-- it's after 10am!). Sometimes I just need a moment to breath, though. I need to organize my thoughts, and lessons plans, and grocery lists, and appointments, and oh yeah... I have even taken on a speaking engagement. I may be out of my element. We'll see. I can only take it a day at a time. Anyway, as I said, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. Recently I decided to put my youngest one into school, both for his good and for my own.

 I am going to be brutally honest here. I love my children beyond words, however sometimes the stress of being mom to 4 kids, 3 of which have special needs, makes me feel a bit out of control. Essentially, I am doing it on my own. Seriously, I feel out of my element, totally unprepared, and like God threw me into the deep end of the pool and said, "Swim, Celeste." I feel like I'm doggy-paddling like crazy some days. It's not good! I'll tell you what I've learned though. Ask for help. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. In fact things will go smoother, and everyone is happier when there is help! I continue to educate myself in all sorts of therapy techniques and behavioral techniques, and yet it will never be enough because I'm just one person.

At the prompting of some friends, therapists, counselors, I took the first steps towards getting my little guy into a special preschool. I have hope that this is the right thing for him. He needs the guidance and help for which I don't have the time or ability to give to him. It has me nervous, as I prepare for his IEP meeting this week. I believe I'm more nervous for myself than anything, though. Here, I let my mind just flow and let things come out, perhaps not so eloquently. With the professionals who care for my kids, I know I can't be that way. I must be articulate, precise and ...yeah...you know, talk like I know what I'm talking about. This often leads me to be over-prepared and to suit up in my Mama-Bear suit. I figure it's better to be over-prepared than under-prepared.

With all that going on, though, I've been making an effort to do things all together, purposefully to get everyone involved. It's easy to say, "You stay with Grammy while I take so-and-so to their appointment." The result is me being away from home a lot, and not having a lot of time for "family time". That is hard for me. I admit to not being so strict in enforcing bedtimes and such because I love that they all lay around on my bed while I read them a story, or while we just be silly and spend time together. Once again, this is such a good example of where outside help can come in helpful for me. When I have more help, I can be more present for them...

We did the Buddy Walk this past weekend, and though it was a quick event for us (we left early because I had a massive headache), it was wonderful to spend time all together doing something to bring awareness and support to our community. On a side note, I know there is an Autism Walk...but I think we missed that last month. That is definitely on my list of things to do next year-- especially important given that my two boys are on the Spectrum!

Love this picture of my little family! We had fun. And my kids talked for a few days about how great it was be be involved in something together that means something to the community. I think that is an important thing to instill in our children-- to be involved in things that matter to lots of people. Charities and Causes. I have very compassionate kids. It's a beautiful thing. I'll do my best to help them follow their hearts in the things that they feel are important. 

Ok. Time to wake the children and begin the day! 

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