31.1.13

Lots of little things add up.

Over the last couple of weeks some stress had been building up for me. Nothing huge, really, but lots of little things here and there. Trying to balance everything, serve everyone how I thought was best, and make sure I was keeping up with everything. Often times I barely take a moment to breath. And then all those little things start to add up and become a bigger thing!

Yesterday my husband took me to the ER. I'd had a migraine for 8 days straight. The first couple of days, I treated it as I usually do. After that I started to ignore it, figuring it would go away on it's own, but it didn't. I just kept working through it trying my best to function. We went away for the weekend to visit friends which was great. It let up a little. But when we came home, it was back to feeling like  I had a Mac truck parked on my head. I continued to try to ignore it. Just an FYI, that isn't the best route to take! It took my head pounding so hard that I was nauseous and literally unable to control the shaking when my head was pounding for me to finally relent. Finally, I gave in and let me him drive me to the hospital. 

I wore dark glasses and kept my hood pulled down over my face. Every noise hurt, every step made my head pound. I thought they wouldn't take a headache seriously at the hospital. Perhaps because I wasn't, myself, taking it seriously I thought others would follow suit. But they were gentle and kind. The nurses kept the lights off and gave me a warm blanket. And then they gave me sweet sweet morphine and let me lie there until I felt better. When the pain started to let up, I wanted to cry of happiness. Finally I could sleep.

I will be the first to admit-- often times I don't take good care of myself. I don't give myself a break, but rather just try to trod right through to the end. I really am not sure why I do that. All those little stresses of keeping up with everything and making sure everything is just fine start to build and build. For me, all those little things manifest physically. It makes it so clear to me that taking time for a quiet walk, or a soak in the bath is not really indulgent and a waste of time but rather self care. It can be so frustrating because my brain knows that it's necessary (somewhere deep in there), but often times I feel like if I take the time to sit still and paint my nails/take a bath/go for a walk that precious time will be wasted that I could be doing something with.

What do you do to take care of you? 
 Bubble baths? A massage? Read? 
I would love to see your ideas especially since my husband is going back to work this coming up Sunday. Stress will begin to build again, I'm sure. I'd like to be prepared with some ideas so I can start implementing them.

1 comment:

  1. By the time I realize I need a little break, perhaps a walk by myself, I normally have a meltdown. I will typically cry, and ask my husband where is my, me time. I like to take baths, but the kids are always in the bath room when I take one, if not they miss me too much and cry. So unless my husband takes them outside, I don't get a break. Its not that he doesn't care, I just don't ask. I need to ask for more free time, but its hard when he works and I want him to relax. <3

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